Each year
a making and remaking
growing and groaning as I put one foot in front of the next.

Working, parenting, living, praying
becoming this version of myself that
is still rough around the edges-
unsure what to pick up – what to put down.

A magnetic collection of lost things
not yet truly found
only pulled together like puzzle pieces
fallen off the table
an my attempt to piece together the frame –
a boundary I will need in order to set new pieces down –
to truly create the masterpiece
still strewn across the floor.

And what if;
what if,
what if
or maybe when

Strivings and longings
scared hopes
scattered dreams
and decisions are never made
for us unless they are
and then we can complain
about the outcome without
taking
ownership.

But I own all. of. this:

These precious pieces that must make
up a whole –
picture at the very least.

Maybe this year,
I’ll shake the dust
off of corner pieces and
flip over the confusing shapes,
and find a mirror
rather
than
a

Cloudy window.